horses ≠ dogs

This is the hardest lesson I've learned, for several reasons. My daily life since I was wee has been lived with dogs, and the horses I knew and bonded with were school horses who were experienced and used to children, beginners and just about every discipline.

I'm just having some FEELINGS today.




Moving into the realm of greener horses, horses with different personalities, and a horse of your OWN means interacting with some new personalities. And I guess I just rarely encountered that.
Cheyenne came into my life because she wasn't suitable for the typical lesson schedule; her attitude made beginners and children feel discouraged or nervous. She's perfectly trained and rideable, she just sometimes really does the mare thing to the fullest. I respect this.

Sometimes, though, it's so hard to translate that, and let our relationship be what it is. We're two different species and we have intense dialogue in so many different ways, but it will never be as clear as it would be for me to deal with  a human, or she to deal with another horse. So instead of love vs. hate, it's respect vs. disrespect. Sometimes, Cheyenne just really doesn't respect me, and today was one of those days. She was snippy, frustrated, uncooperative. I won't get into the little details, because I don't want to focus on them.

I need to work on being a better leader, but because I am so shy and uncomfortable with dominance (with animals, anyway, because of the communication barrier it just sometimes feels wrong..) it's a frustrating endeavor. Patience.

For the past few weeks, she's been a good girl. She's never thrilled about working, but she does it, she listens, and we have a nice time together.

No matter what, she perks up when she sees me. She grooms me back when I scratch her neck. She will follow me, lead line or not.

She'll nip at me if it's saddle time. She'll ignore commands and mysteriously forget her training.
Today she made me cry; I felt like I meant nothing but frustration to her.
I stepped back and thought about it.
My inclination is to go back to the barn and work with her more, but we did work together today, and we left on a good enough note, and there is such a thing as too much.

Now that I think of it, there's a lot to consider. Her personality, which I need to do better at accepting. She may have been a little sore, as she threw a shoe. And finally, challenging my authority is probably a very large sign of love in the horse world.

My family now has one dog that we adopted from the humane society a year and a half ago. He's a black lab x  pit bull, and he is a handful. The time with him has been an immense and scary challenge. Unlike horses, dogs are predatory animals and our dog is very in tune with the more violent aspects of his species. There were a lot of times when we wanted to give up. He wasn't snuggly, he was barely a companion. But we stuck with it, we tried everything, and while he does still relapse, he's incredible. He's lovey, all he wants to do is snuggle, and he was worth EVERYTHING.

I tell you this for two reasons. One, I cannot imagine giving up on Cheyenne because sometimes it's hard.

Two, results will be different. I spend so much time around dogs, so I expect dog-like results. I know she's not a dog, and as much as I want her to snuggle me and nuzzle me and play with me like a dog might, that is not how she will show me she cares.